The past two days have handed my ass to me, and I’ve had two choices: Either freak the fuck out and plummet, or realize that the only place to go from here is up and look towards that (hopefully not-so-distant) point of light. All too many times before I’ve crumbled, then picked myself up and dredged on.
The difference this time was my freak-the-fuck-out moment lasted about 5 seconds, and then I let it go. I let it all go and decided to simply be happy and focus on solutions rather than the glaring…challenges…I’m being faced with.
That’s really the only choice there is, because if I don’t go that route, then shit’s really gonna hit the fan, and I’m just not willing to tread that road again. I’m done – done with the old. Shedding, pealing the tough surface away to reveal what I thought would be so vulnerable and sensitive, but in reality, ended up being even tougher than the façade.
That was a nice surprise.
But it’s a different kind of tough. It’s an authentic tough – one that carries a softness, a grace, a layer of gentle, unwavering protection and perseverance. Letting that layer fall away allowed true strength to come through right when I needed it.
It allowed me to become more…more. The more that I had always hoped was there, but wasn’t sure…I feel like I’ve been having a lot of these moments lately, across several emotional terra cottas.
A simple shift in attitude and energy was all it took. Deciding to not get pissed or angry or judgmental towards a situation I couldn’t control, but rather, appreciate the help that was instantly rising up to meet me when I needed it.
It’s true – sometimes letting go and really getting the fuck over yourself is the best solution.